The Benefits of Living in an Imperfect Family

I frequently hear reports about Juliette's Sunday School exploits. Oftentimes it's about her dancing. (How much do I love that her Sunday School class regularly includes dancing?!) That one time it was about how she had shared at length during their joys and concerns time about the temper tantrum she'd had that morning. And then the other day one of her teachers shared that they were making a list of ways they could help God - helping others, listening to their parents, picking up litter, etc. Juliette piped up that even when they didn't do the right thing, God forgives us and loves us anyway.

They were so impressed they had her repeat it. When we don't do the right thing, God forgives and loves us anyway.

The presumption, I presume, is that Juliette is a classic PK, the recipient of a rigorous religious education. And to some extent she is. We read Big Momma and pray together and tonight she watched the "God show" on my iPad (the Tommy Nelson Bible story app). But I can't help but think that the reason this kid knows about forgiveness is that we seek it so often in this family. "I'm sorry" is one of our top ten phrases.

Maybe top five.

Okay, fine, top three.

And I'm okay with that. We are imperfect. But we forgive one another and love one another anyway. And, from the mouth of my child: God forgives us and loves us anyway.

Update the Christmas List, Kids

I was a little giddy this morning when I found out that my book is available for pre-sale on Amazon. And then I was a lot giddy when Ben pointed out that one could purchase it in tandem with the Snow Wolf (the snow shovel formerly known as the SnoWovel).

I mean, what could possibly be better than that?!

The Best Story: An Imperfect Christmas Eve Pageant

In June, I started working on a script for our Christmas Eve Pageant. I've revised it several times since, taking into account some great feedback from other writers as well as a theater professional.

That said, I have no experience writing plays. Well, that's not true. I write one act plays for Father's Day that have never been produced and have only been read by Ben. How's that for credentials! This has never been staged. It might be a disaster!

Having issued that disclaimer, I'm making this available for anyone who wants to use it. I've licensed it with Creative Commons with a license that allows for adaptation so long as it includes the original attribution. Here's that info:



The Best Story: An Imperfect Christmas Eve Pageant by Katherine Willis Pershey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Basically: have at it. If it seems like parts of it would work for your church, go for it. There are definitely parts of this that are written very specifically for my context. Change it however you see fit. Pass it along. Have fun. I'm super excited to get started on the production piece of this in the weeks to come, and hope it works on the stage.

Merry Early Christmas!

The Best Story: An Imperfect Christmas Eve Pageant EDITED TO ADD: I would love to know if your church or school is producing this. Leave me a comment or send me an email, please. :) katherinepershey at gmail dot com.

Midweek Miscellany

1. I am not going to reach my goal of reading 50 books this year. I've encountered an unusual number of books I just can't seem to finish this year, and also seem to spend more and more time reading the New York Times. I'm pretty much obsessed with the NYT Magazine. I learned so much about piracy in the Indian Ocean last week, and about food the week before, and about Mindy Kaling the week before that. It's good reading. So, as much as I hate to fall short of a goal, I'm going to have to just say: oh well.

2. Speaking of the New York Times, "Notes from a Dragon Mom" was a devastating and beautiful reflection that I highly recommend reading, but only if you have tissues on hand.

3. I finally took Ben to Egg Harbor Cafe for lunch today. It's a place that's only open for breakfast and lunch and is insanely busy on the weekends, so the previous iteration of our life didn't make it easy for Ben to eat there. Lawd, it's good food. I get the same thing every time - chilaquiles with eggs poached hard. Ben has historically been extremely leery about me ordering eggs poached hard, as they so often show up on the table looking like they are training for the Boston Marathon. Ew. I cannot. stand. runny. eggs. But Egg Harbor manages to get it right every time, and today the waitress even told me to check and make sure they were cooked enough before she left. Be still my hard-egg-yolk-loving heart!

4. I was feeling some momentary melancholy this afternoon as I started nursing Genevieve; having gone from spending nearly every waking moment with her to seeing her a few times throughout the workday for feedings, I fretted that she might start thinking of me as the milk machine. But then in the middle of eating she stopped, looked up at me, broke into an enormous grin that sent milk streaming out of her mouth and down her cheek, and then only after a moment of lovey gazing went back to her meal. Oh, sweet Genevieve.

5. And really, how amazing is it that I work full time yet rarely miss a feeding? Between living so very close and Juliette going to preschool at church, we've discovered that it's remarkably easy for me to nurse throughout the day. I think it's been over a week since she's had a bottle, which means I need to toss that one in the back of the fridge...

6. Juliette announced today that she intends to become a pastor. A few weeks ago she wanted to be a teacher, so we'll see. I could see her becoming either. I will be surprised if she doesn't end up in some sort of helping/healing profession.

7. I think the only television show I have loved as much as Parenthood was Six Feet Under. (Peter Krause wins!) I thought Six Feet Under made me a better pastor, and I think Parenthood makes me a better mother.

8. It looks as though I have finally scored my personal trifecta: I have a writing group, a book club, and a racquetball partner. That said, I did miss a meeting of my book club today on account of my post-maternity leave craziness.

9. Speaking of my writing group - holy cow, did we get brilliant news this week. Our panel discussion, "The Beloved Writing Community," was accepted for the Calvin College Festival of Faith and Writing (April 19-21). Dude, MARILYNNE ROBINSON is going to be there. Among so many other writers I deeply admire. Given that I started working on my part of our application on July 17th - that would be during the early hours of my labor - and we had to have it all in by August 1st - that would be when I had a two-week-old-baby - I'm tickled pink.


10. Ben painted Juliette's face on Saturday morning - no particular reason, just for fun. I'd say Juliette's shirt - which reads "My Dad Rocks" - is right on.

I'm thinking I'm all in for this "midweek miscellany" thing. No pressure to have ten items, no pressure to post on Tuesday... works for me.

Book Review: Bless Her Heart

Bless Her Heart: Life as a Young Clergy Woman by Ashley-Anne Masters
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Wow.

I hoped this would be good. I expected it to be good. But I didn't expect it to be this good.

First of all, I have to admit that there was another book in my mind as I started reading this - "A Church of Her Own" by Sarah Sentilles. I was deeply troubled by that book. I completely trusted the veracity of the difficult experiences the women Sentilles interviewed. No doubt about it, terrible things happen in the church. But I struggled with the one-sidedness of the critique. The anger of the critique. Sentilles has little love for the church, and it shows on every page of her book. I was disappointed that "A Church of Her Own" did not reflect my experience in ministry, and deeply hoped that "Bless Her Heart" would.

Oh, does it ever.

That's the first thing I loved about this book. The vast majority of it resonated with me, or with stories I have heard from friends. I loved that the authors spoke in the first person plural; at first I thought it was just a matter of their co-authorship, but then I realized that it accomplished a great feat: helping young clergy women understand that they are not alone. They are part of a great "we".

Several times they had me so pegged I had to laugh. I was completely weepy at the end of the chapter called "Pregnant in the Pulpit", and turned the page only to discover through tear-filled eyes that the next chapter was called "Jesus Wept: The Role and Power of Emotions." Of course, by the end of that chapter I was in tears again. Don't be fooled by the seemingly "light" quality of this book, what with its chapters on pedicures and hemlines. It delves right into the heart of what it means to be a minister - just, as it so happens, a minister in lipstick.

But the most wonderful element of this book is how saturated it is in scriptures. Nearly every page includes biblical allusions or metaphors or illustrations. Many if not most young clergy women have had their calls questioned by people using scripture "against" us. To read such a profoundly biblical understanding of women in ministry was so empowering.

By no means does this book paint a rosy picture of ministry; rather, the narratives reveal a complicated but ultimately blessed way of life. And, the authors gently encourage a vision and practice of ministry that keeps love for God and community at the center. The closing narrative captures this perfectly; "I am aware of the sacrifices I have made of this ministry... But, for me, I love this church, and feel blessed to be a part of the lives of the members of the congregation. It has been quite the challenge, but I am glad that God has given me the strength and wisdom to enjoy this ministry."

Thank you so much to Ashley-Anne Masters and Stacy Smith. I only wish you'd written this ten years ago!

View all my reviews

Exponentially Juliette

I don't know how else to put it: Juliette just seemed especially Juliette today. Like, exponentially Juliette. A few Sunday snapshots:

1. After a fairly rough morning, Juliette was a charmer at church. When I whispered to her that we were going to pray, she immediately folded her hands together and bowed her head. And then, when we had to dash out after worship to make it to the harvest festival an hour away - I was in possession of the worship bulletins, plus had to get there in time to issue the call to worship - she allowed herself to be ushered past the post-service treats without stopping to get a piece. She didn't so much as whine about it.

2. This is the doorknob hanger she made during Sunday school:

I think it is possible that I might overemphasize the "be careful with breakable stuff" principle. It does seem to work. Of course, by saying this I will completely jinx it, but Juliette has been using her Royal Dalton nursery dishes that are quite breakable for over a year now, without so much as a chip.

3. This is one of my all-time favorite Juliette moments. I could not stop laughing. After the worship service at the harvest festival, we were eating lunch with some of the folks from the other church. Juliette says to the woman across from us, "I like your hand toenails." Ohmygoodness, I just started giggling again. The woman did have very pretty polish on her hand toenails, otherwise known as fingernails. I think I just pulled my spleen.

4. After we got back from the festival, I was feeling the need to work off the four desserts I consumed (banana cake with cream cheese frosting, peach pie, apple pie, and half of Juliette's peanut butter-chocolate rice crispie treat). I went running and Juliette came along on her bike. She made for a great running partner; my running pace is precisely that of a preschooler on training wheels. She was quite encouraging, "Go! Go! You can do it!" until she decided it was time to go to the park. I tricked her into running drills with me - racing back and forth across the soccer field - until she decided it was time to be chased, fling herself on the ground, and wait for me to tickle her. We had so much fun. And I got an even better workout than I did yesterday when "Americano" came on at just the moment I was flagging.

5. I'm fairly sure Juliette has coined the next big phrase. When we were playing at the park, she kept exclaiming, "That's so kick!" You heard it here first.

6. I'm cheating: this one was from yesterday. But still in the same twenty-four-hour period. I was telling Juliette about how she could have some hot chocolate this winter, and asking her if she thought she'd like that, and as she went to answer in the affirmative, a big long strand of drool fell out of her mouth, completely accidentally. We guffawed. Methinks Juliette has a serious thing for chocolate.

7. Finally: Juliette still loves the hokey children's bible. She wanted to read the stories to Genevieve tonight. She did such a nice job of telling this one I had her retell it for the camera. Did you know the Three Wise Men went sailing with Jesus? Sure 'nuff.



That Juliette. She's just so... Juliette.

Three Pictures of Genevieve

Just because.

*Really* Good Recipe

I've tried two recipes from my Pinterest food board, and the first one was a forgettable flop. Literally... I can't even remember what it was. But oh, the broccoli-quinoa casserole? Insanely good. Before you roll your eyes and get back to what you're supposed to be doing right now, know that Ben was utterly convinced that he would dislike this, and he liked it a lot.

The original recipe is here. But I did a couple things that I think played a part in its awesomeness. I left out the splenda - not only do we not have splenda, but I was a little eeked out at the thought of adding sweetness to a savory dish. No thanks. I forgot to add the nutmeg. I used the Trader Joe's Cream of Shitake Mushroom soup (condensed and boxed), which I think is a little tastier than regular condensed soups. And finally I added about a half a package of diced tofu. It was a great addition, because it added a good amount of protein, and blended into the casserole so seamlessly you couldn't even tell it was there. (I'm fine with the presence of tofu, but certain others in the household were glad it was a well-behaved stowaway.)

Juliette did not eat the finished project, but ate her weight in tofu cubes, broccoli, and cheese while she was helping make it.

Really, really good main dish.

Monday Miscellany

1. Last week was, as the kids say, a humdinger. (Actually, I don't think the kids say that. I think only my mother says that.) I kind of remember thinking I might be packing too much in to my first week back when I decided to start not one but two new programs. But I'm so pleased with how they both went. Our new weekly Bible study totally got the giggles over a very funny difference in translation, and we had ten people at our new monthly writing group.

2. Speaking of things mothers say, the other day I said, "What the...?" about something or another. And Juliette piped up, "Heck!" It was pointed out to me that "heck" is a lot better than some of the alternatives. Part of me feels kind of sheepish that I use the phrase "what the heck" enough that it can be a call-and-response with the three-year-old, but on the other hand, I can imagine my children recalling their mama's quaint syntax when they are adults, and that will surely be on the list.

3. "What the heck" reminds me of a related phrase that is apparently popular in Utah: "oh my heck." Which reminds me how much I miss my dear friend Charise, who introduced it to me. I once had a mug custom-emblazoned with that phrase for her. I hope she thinks about me when she uses it.

4. When I was little, we used to take first day of school photographs on a rock in our neighbors' yard. Juliette clambered onto this rock downtown the other day, and instead of harping at her to keep walking, I had a big wave of nostalgia and had to document it with another Instagram shot.

5. For the last four years I've written one-act plays for Ben for Father's Day, and now I'm expanding my drama-writing repertoire. I'm working on revisions for an original script for our family Christmas Eve pageant. It's pretty funny. At least, I laughed out loud while I was typing certain lines.
 

6. I loved this article by Carey Wallace about the discipline of creativity. I like that it is equally intimidating and inspiring, as I've always needed a bit of intimidation to access the fullness of my creativity.


7. This man adores his daughters, and they adore him right back:

8. On Friday night, I designed a website and I wrote an entire sermon in one sitting. Upon reporting this to both of my sisters and asking, "Why do I do things like that??", they both answered: because you're related to me. Being a Willis girl definitely entails hobbling away from creative projects, sore from hours of hunching over your work. We were wondering from whence this came, and I'm remembering a story about my grandmother in which broke her leg - it had fallen asleep while she was sitting, and it gave out when she stood up. How much do you want to bet she had been doing needlepoint?

9. Speaking of that website... my fancy new author website, compliments of Blogger: voila!

As Different as Could Be

They look a bit a like, don't they?

Genevieve, almost three months

Juliette, three months

But from day one, they are just so different. Of course they are both sweet and adorable and perfect in my eyes. But at birth, Genevieve was sleepy and mellow, whereas Juliette was fitful and, to be blunt, kind of angry. But Juliette luxuriated in our arms. She loved to be held, and was totally at rest when she had skin-to-skin contact. She couldn't get to sleep unless she was being nursed or rocked or carried around. Ben used to pace for hours to get her to go to sleep. We could set her down without waking her up, but Lord have mercy if she did wake up, because she would be irate to discover that she was in her crib. We ended up becoming attachment parents because we had an attachment baby; I can't even imagine what it would have been like around here if we hadn't adjusted our parenting style to her very clearly communicated needs.

Genevieve, on the other hand, is not an attachment baby. She gets upset if she's tired and you don't get her settled into her crib quickly enough. She likes a tight swaddle and a clean pacifier, maybe a little white noise, and she's good to go. Although she sleeps for stretches as long as six or seven hours at night, she rarely goes to sleep in our arms. When she's done with her milk, she's done nursing. Sometimes I misread her cues and tick her off by offering to nurse instead of her beloved pacifier. She always wakes up if we have to move her. And we discovered another difference this week, while dog sitting. She is incredibly reactive to sound. The dog's bark has scared her a few times, and for a few moments she's completely inconsolable. Juliette did not so much as wince when the puggle barked during her newlycome days.

I'm realizing that these are more than just personality differences. They have different physiologies, it seems. I marvel at this, since after all they have the same set of parents.

Somehow having two makes it all the more clear that there is something within them that is more than the sum of their nurture and nature, that they are more than just a mashup of our DNA and a product of our culture. Somehow having two makes me all the more mindful that these two little girls have been outfitted with unique and lovely souls, a spark that is wholly divine. And just as it's our responsibility to figure out what our girls need to sleep and feel safe and loved, we also have the responsibility of tending those altogether unique sparks.

What a gift this all is.

Thank You, Steve Jobs.

I remember when the guy from the Apple store came to our house to set up our Apple IIGS. I spent hours on that computer, playing Oregon Trail and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?. I typed out the manuscript of the mystery novel I wrote in the fourth grade on it.

I wrote poem after poem after poem on the Grape iMac I bought during my sophomore year of college.

Okay, I wasn't pleased when I lost all of our European vacation pictures due to a "Sad Mac" episode on the MacBook.

I wrote the vast majority of my book on this iMac desktop, and it is the primary tool with which I archive our family's life. My camera is useless without it.

Earlier this week, I wished my grandmother a happy 93rd birthday over FaceTime. I haven't seen her in over nine years, and while an image on a screen is no substitute for flesh and blood, I was grateful that our pixelated connection hid the tears in my eyes.

And tonight, I was FaceTiming with Lara when her husband called to say that Steve Jobs had passed away, during the height of apple season.

To say that Steve Jobs has had a profound effect on my life - all our lives - what an understatement.

Thank you, Steve Jobs.

Forty-Three Pages Better Than Splendid

Chalice Press just started taking pre-orders for my book, Any Day a Beautiful Change: A Story of Faith and Family. The books will ship in February 2012; won't that be a nice midwinter pick-me-up?

Here's the official description:

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the minister with the baby carriage. In this collection of interrelated personal essays, Katherine Willis Pershey chronicles the story of her life as a young pastor, mother, and wife. At turns hilarious and harrowing, deeply moving and gently instructive, Pershey’s reflections will strike a chord with anyone who has ever rocked a newborn, loved an alcoholic, prayed for the redemption of a troubled relationship, or groped in the dark for the living God.

I worked so hard on this thing. Dude, I turned in forty-three pages of revisions after Chalice had said it was fine. Actually, they said it was "splendid." Which technically makes this forty-three pages better than splendid. Forgive me for being so direct, but pretty please won't you pre-order your copy today?

Sunday Night Miscellany

1. I'm back to work. And surprisingly, I didn't even need a nap after church. Everything went really well, except for Juliette's megatantrum after worship. And that wasn't specific to me going back to work, but Juliette just being Juliette. That kid has the most amazing energy, and we can thank our lucky stars that she uses it constructively most of the time.

2. Yesterday Genevieve and I spent the morning at a workshop at the Loyola University Museum of Art - "Theology, Art, and the Imagination: The Saint John's Bible." I sure do love the Saint John's Bible. They have an extremely nifty new teaching tool that leads you through a process of "visio divina" - like "lectio divina," only with the added dimension of images.

3. We are splitting a meat CSA share with our new next door neighbors. This makes me very happy on so many levels.

4. I admit that my favorite part of the New York Times is the Magazine; it's just so good, especially the Mark Bittman essays. Case in point: "Cooking makes you care about nourishment, family meals, relaxation, skills, control, health, the environment, culture and the earth. And it leads your kids to care about these things, too." Of course he goes on to say that's not enough, that we need a return to sustainability. See #3 above...

5. Juliette wants to be a ballerina for Halloween. I'm hoping she changes her mind, because it's pretty hard to trick-or-treat in a leotard. Brrr. We're trying to convince her that it would be really cool to be a gorilla in a tutu. Much warmer.

6. I'm thinking I should probably establish some sort of simple author website, with links to online booksellers, a bio, reviews, etc. If you have any advice about this, I would gladly accept it. I don't really want to turn this blog into book marketing central, y'know? I want it to be what it's always been: an ever-evolving space for writing practice and memory keeping.

7.  But speaking of my book: word has it from Chalice Press that it's going to be available for pre-order within the next few weeks. I continue to be equally excited and terrified about this whole thing.

8. Last week my writing group spent two days in Western Michigan, in a borrowed cottage by the lake. I cannot overstate how magnificent it was. Oh, did I mention we pooled resources to bring a nanny along? Yeah, that's how to do it.

9. My most recent Instagram favorite, from our lazy Saturday afternoon:

Juliette continues to be utterly in love with her sister.

10. And, lest you think I never use my real camera anymore:

 

11. Last but not least, we are all beyond excited to be dog sitting this week! Tomorrow we welcome little Odo for a week of Camp Pershey.